A gallery wants to sign me to a contract and I am thinking of all the reasons why I don’t want to be a gallery artist. I wish I could better project into the future about how I am going to feel about situations but I can’t. Right now I don’t feel like I am heading in the direction of being a gallery artist. I haven’t sent out a packet of my work this year in pursuit of being a part of a gallery. I’ve rebuffed more than one offer to have shows and I’m still happy with the direction of my art and all the projects I have going on.I have no outside pressure to make art and it’s a good feeling.
Right now I don’t feel like I care. I don’t feel like making art for these yahoos that can afford it. I don’t even feel like I make art for people’s entertainment or enjoyment. The thought of being at a show , watching these yahoos walk around the gallery with their wine in hand sickens me. The art I make is for people who think and feel like I feel. I also know I bounce out of these phases where I am up and then down. I wonder if these phases affect my decision making process but I like to think that every decision I make is based on logic and not a mood.
I don’t want someone profiting 50- 60 percent from something I 100 percent made. The gallery owner also plans to eventually have his son as a client. Is he going to take 50- 60 percent from his son’s sales? I doubt it. This time two years ago or maybe even last year I would feel differently. I don’t like when there are a set of rules that work differently for some and are applied strictly to others. I guess that is why I hate being a part of this world.
I don’t know what I want from my art anymore or if I want anything from it other than to bring me happiness. Would it be nice if art was all I had to do to support myself? Sure. Do I want to burden my art with that responsibility? I don’t think I do. Maybe it’s just better if someone figures out what to do with my art when I’m dead.